This is my pitch-in-progress. A nice agent lady named Jessica is allowing people who read her blog to comment with their pitches, in which she'll then pick at random pitches that she will critique.

I decided to go ahead and give it a try. I hope she picks mine. :X

Here it is:

Fifteen year old Kitty Hawkins, daughter to London's most affluent widow, has a secret: she can talk to ghosts. On the morning of March 19th, 1743, England buzzes with the news of Lord William John Brinsley's sudden suicide, but only Kitty knows that Lord Brinsley was murdered: he told her. Driven by a persistent spirit and compassion for his now disgraced family, Kitty becomes devoted to exposing the crafty criminal; however, what first appeared to be a simple quest of vengeance soon thrusts Kitty right into the middle of a terrible conspiracy, orchestrated by one of the most ancient sects of English society. Now, Kitty must utilize the only two tools she has: men's clothing and her disgraceful unladylike intelligence, to uncover and expose this sinister plot before it destroys Lord Brinsley's family, her, and all of [Great Britain]. However, there is only one major complication: she must protect her secret, or else she just may find herself stranded on the wrong side of one of London's infamous witch hunts.

KITTY HAWKINS AND A FIST OF FOX FIRE is a Young Adult novel finished at 80k words.

No, it is not finished and yes, I have no idea if it will actually turn out to be 80k words. I just took an educated guess. I consider this my mock pitch--something that I would send IF my manuscript were complete.

Looking at it after I posted it, there are already things I want to change--namely the structure of the first sentence. However, my changes are only technical, so I'm going to go ahead and not change a thing and just see what Agent Jessica Lady has to say if I get picked. :X

I tried to make it "hook." I have no idea if it does that. So, my question to all of you: Does this pitch make the story sound even remotely interesting? If you liked ghost stories and history and mysteries, would you pick this up?

My changes. Disregard this--just for my reference.

Fifteen year old Kitty Hawkins, daughter to London's most affluent widow, has a secret: she can talk to ghosts. On the morning of March 19th, 1743, all of England buzzes with the news of Lord William John Brinsley's sudden suicide; only Kitty knows that the death was actually a murder, because the Lord Brinsley himself told her. Driven by a persistent spirit and compassion for his now disgraced family, Kitty becomes devoted to hunting and exposing the mysterious killer; however, what first appeared to be a simple quest of vengeance soon thrusts Kitty right into the middle of a terrible conspiracy, orchestrated by one of the most ancient sects of English society. Now, Kitty must utilize the only two tools she has: men's clothing and her disgracefully unladylike intelligence, to uncover and expose this sinister plot before it destroys Lord Brinsley's family, her, and all of [Great Britain]. However, there is only one major complication: she must protect her secret, or else she just may find herself stranded on the wrong side of an infamous London witch hunt.